DOGPILE: THE DONALD BOAT STORY

Or; A Gentleman's Guide to B2B SaaS

PROLOGUE

AUGUST 5TH

TPBN ft. DONALD BOAT

PLEASE HIRE MY INTERN JAKE JUICE FOR ANALYST / CONSULTING / ECON / POLICY / THINK TANK WORK

I would like to let the record reflect that I am still waiting on “Disgusting” Dasha Nekrasova and “Angsty"Anna Khachiyan.

^ NOT A SMART GUY!

LINK

This guy above is a total loser, and VERY weird. Would suggest not doing business with him.

For the record: Max Novendstern purchased these books for me but they were cancelled by Amazon. In response I put him in the “FLAKES” list next to “Disgusting” Dasha. He later he made good on his order. He is a man of his word, and I am sorry to have made this mistake.

Above guy is very weird and he sucks

Dasha, if you’re reading this, and I know you are, it’s never too late to make good on your promises.

Would like to state for the record that the guy above very deceptively tried to get my address by saying he could only buy things on his “company card.”

VIDEO

I would like to let the record reflect that I DM’d Nikita a CPU and a CASE, NOT a GPU. He might have a learning disability so I’m #NotHoldingItAgainstHim

Poopy, if you’re reading this, and I know you are because you LOVE attention (hence antagonistic trendriding quote tweet) it’s never too late to earn my grace. Donate to a local nonprofit bookstore and post the receipt.

Thanks to intern @Jakes__Juice for the assist on this one

I would like to let the record reflect that somebody from this man’s high school messaged me saying that above man was “very weird.” Interesting!

STILL FOR SALE

Special thanks to @boneGPT for the printer

Thank you will depue for donald boat dot org

Thanks to Ryan MacEntush for the adspace

Thank you to Brace Belden for several #BLACKOPS that will never see the light of day. You know what you’ve done, patriot.

@corpojozef You are going BALD

If “Stinky” Luke Farritor is reading this: Give the kids some money.

The narrator would like to note that this photograph is worth more than all the computer parts in the world

Thank you to Isabel Pabán Freed of Adobe Books - Please buy Isabel’s book “SCHOOL” and “IT’S THE CHARACTERS!”, coming late October.

Thank you to Ryan MacEntush for the locusts

Note: The Beldenoiod Diaper Automaton was also set free in the wild, set free to stink up the creeks and rivers and dams of the United States. He was last heard from in Miami Beach, Florida, raising funds for a Solana based cryptocurrency startup.

CODA: AUGUST 22nd

Forgot case fans shoutout @BasedBeffJezos for the assist

Thank you for your attention to this matter!